Classy Sassafrassy Assassin

Everything she writes makes me want to melt into a tiny puddle, you know it’s beautifully written when you don’t know how to feel

aprilbug:

why you love someone, when you’ve been with them for long enough.

in the beginning, it’s so simple. it’s easier then because you know what it was like not to have someone and from there, it’s just compare and contrast. you can pick out specific things that you love about them - the way they hold open doors for you, the way they subtly hold your hand, the hugs hello and the kisses goodbye. everything about life is somehow better with them there. you don’t feel the weight of loneliness anymore. 

but then time passes, days run into each other in your mind, weeks, months. can you still tell me the reasons? are they the same? does he still hold open doors for you? do you hold hands because of what the gesture represents, or because it’s just habit now? are you still excited to see each other and reluctant to part? 

people say that lovers grow too comfortable with time. they begin to take each other for granted, stop doing those little things that once made so much difference, forget that what they share is something special and rare. 

is it even rare? do lovely things still shine when they aren’t in the sun?

do you still love the way he smells? his chapped lips and sorry smile? do you still find his type-a personality as charming and attractive? does he still make you laugh? are your goals and lives still aligned? do you still feel moved when you look, and really look, into his eyes?

or have you fallen in love with the comfort, the security, his presence? that’s cowardice. that’s a fear of change and an aversion to being alone. am i being too harsh?

can love consist of both - love for the person and the need for self-preservation?

it’s hard to lose the feeling that you are special in some way, especially when it’s a feeling that you grew so used to, something that once fulfilled you. it’s hard to expect things and be disappointed, and then criticize yourself for expecting anything in the first place. i don’t need to be treated like a princess, after all.

the hardest part is looking in his eyes for that spark? glow? warmth? recognition? that you were once so familiar with, and not finding it anymore. that certain quality about his look that conveyed how wonderful he thought you were. were. 

you can only change so much.